I Called Myself The B-Word

I hate it when I spiral out of control and the only adjective left to describe me is the B-word.

It's the worst word I could possibly call myself. But I'm calling myself the B-word today.


Stupid busy. Like crazy stupid busy.

I say "crazy" and "stupid" because I create my own life, my own schedule, so therefore, I also have to own the fact that I create my own busyness.  

Confession: I was so tired after the last couple of crazy busy weeks that I "slept in" until 7:15am today and didn't wash my hair before going to work.

Okay, if I'm going to confess I might as well be honest. I didn't even shower this morning. (Insert head hang here. My dirty head is hanging in a hat, btw.)

My husband reminded me last night that life is seasonal. A month of stupid busyness is often followed by a slower pace. The time to be really, truly concerned is when there is never a break in the pace. When you stop sleeping because your mind won't slow down. You skip regular meals because you're "working through lunch" only to find yourself eating a Snickers and drinking a Dr. Pepper at 3:00pm and calling it a "caffeine and protein" snack. You arrive home from work late. Again. Grab your laptop or your phone, work a little more. Then fall into bed dog tired. But the moment your head hits the pillow your eyes spring wide open and you begin writing a "to do" list in your mind that keeps you up until 3am. So at 6am when your alarm goes off to tell you to get up and go to the gym you hit snooze until 7:15am, open your eyes, hit the floor running and leave the house without washing your hair (or possibly without taking a shower).

We have to slow our roll. No one will do it for us. Did you see how no where in my list of the fast-pace did I even mention stopping to read God's Word and pray. How in the world will we ever even know if we're on the right track when we aren't spending time with the One who creates our purpose? 

Slow down.  Don't stop. Just slow down. 

Sleep. Eat. Read. Pray. Sing. Laugh. See a movie. Have coffee with friends. Get a pedicure. 

Don't make me call you the B-word. 

Keep going (at a slower pace). 



Jessica Phillips

Jessica is worshiper and follower of Jesus. He rescued her heart at age 6 but he rescued her calling, purpose and direction in her early 20's. Everyday God is still writing Jessica's story. It involves her husband, Brad, her daughter, Emery, their extended families. But the story is a tale of loss of life and dark grief. And the story ebs and weaves and the grief story is followed by weddings and laughter. And what comes next? A Baby! God sends us a baby to shape and teach and grow right in the midst of our loss and realizing that life actually moves forward. We didn't think it would again after he died. But life just did what it was supposed to do...and it went on. And hope is born again. Everything I write is based on this fact: I'm God's child, I'm alive today. So what do You want me to do for You? Because I want my contribution to matter. I want to leave a legacy.